Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Man Rules

I don't know where this came from originally. It was sent to me by a WOMAN! (My good friend, Sandy Whitt, as a matter of fact.) It's funny and I like it.

These rules are so simple a cave woman could do them!

The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.
Finally, the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty
good.) We always hear " the rules " from the female side. Now here
are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON
1. Men are NOT mind readers. ( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE )
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just
say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine..
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as Football or Hockey.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Fat Body, Big God and Discipline - Entry #2

First, an update on what I said I would do:
What will I do?
1. Stop drinking soft drinks (I will finish the few ginger ales I have, but no more). (DONE and DOING)
2. Check into getting a health club membership and start riding a bike. (Not checked yet, but I will)
3. WHEN I snack, snack healthy. This means I need to buy some fruit. (No fruit, but no snacks either)
4. Pray God make me HEALTHY, not necessarily skinny. (Doing)
5. Pray God becomes glorified in this struggle. Indeed, it is a struggle. (Doing)
6. I WILL NOT become entangled in a fad. (Doing)

I want you to go back and check out the video called “Campus Life Showdown #2” ('s a great illustration. I did all that you see there for the show...I did it to pump the kids up; to have something funny to end our Campus Life meetings on. I would have done this if I weighed 179 lbs* However, when you are overweight, people say things that you know they are saying without wisdom. I turned to some students and said, "Who do you think will win?" One kid immediately said, "You will! You are fat and [he] is skinny!"

If you are overweight, you’ve heard stupid things like that. It really doesn’t bother me (much). It has taught me to try to understand people’s struggles; we’ve all got them.

You won't believe this...

A friend saw Entry #1 and sent me what was quite possibly the most affirming and encouraging email / letter I have ever received in my entire life. My friend told me she was always impressed that I am "Tim Bowes" no matter what, I am happy that someone recognized that, because, in the words of Lynyrd Skynyrd, I am just "a simple man..."

One thing I want to say today in the spirit of journaling this adventure is that I believe the Holy Spirit has led me here. I believe God is calling me into an area where I am not in control; an area where I am uncomfortable; an area in which I will have to learn new disciplines, and to “beat my body under” yet again.

I have gone through dramatic weight gains and losses on multiple occasions. It’s always tough. This is the longest I’ve been and the heaviest I’ve been. All of my weight gain has accompanied one of, or all of, the following things:
(1) An injury; back, knees, ankle
(2) Stopping another bad habit; drinking, chewing, smoking
(3) Worse eating habits, especially rushing to eat, eating at odd times and eating NOTHING
(4) A physically easier job
(5) Getting older (“Of course,” you’re thinking, “we all get older! Duh!”)
(6) Sheer laziness

It’s helpful recognizing some of the causes. Hopefully I recognize the strongholds that God wants to strike down.

This time has to be about worship and habit change. If it’s not that, it’s nothing. If it’s not that, it’s just another endeavor of the flesh. I don’t want that.

Thanks for reading and for those encouraging friends who spoke to me or sent me an email. Pray for me, and I’ll be praying for you…

*The weight my doctor says I SHOULD weigh.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Fat Body, Big God and Discipline - Entry #1

So, here goes...I am going to journal a struggle. I am going to seek the Lord in this thing. Along the way I am going to journal some frustrations, some victories, some hopes, some prayers, and a host of other things. Whoever reads this, good. If you are offended, stop reading. Okay?

I bet you are wondering, "What is he even talking about?" I'm overweight. I hate it. I hate what people mumble about me. I hate the insinuations and the judgment. More than that, I hate that people are right about it. It IS a lack of discipline. It IS a problem. It DOES NOT glorify the Lord. I believe it ruins my witness. How can I urge people to discipline and holiness if I seem to be overindulgent myself?

My friend Andrew said, "Tim, your testimony could be much stronger if you weren't so overweight." (He didn't say it exactly like that, but that's what he meant.) I agree, Brother Andrew. I like the way he said it; blunt, but with love and truth.

Fact: I have some genetic issues.
Fact: I have a thyroid issue.
Fact: I use these things as crutch.
Fact: I DO NOT exercise properly.
Fact: I DO NOT eat properly.
Fact: I attempt to justify my overindulgence by saying things like the following:
A. I don't drink, smoke, do dope, or chew tobacco anymore, so I've got to do something.
B. My knees and back kill me when I run or do most kinds of exercise. (This is true, but it's a cop-out; pure and simple.)
C. My schedule makes eating healthy and regular difficult. (True, but, again, it's a cop-out.)
D. Eating healthy is expensive. (Don't know if it's true, but I believe it is!)
E. I work too much; it's hard to fit a work out into my schedule. (True, know, a cop-out!)

Belief: I believe God can help me.
Belief: I believe God will help me.
Belief: I believe He is asking me to show discipline and hard work in this endeavor.

Desire: I want a quick fix.
Fact: We don't always get what we want!

I do not want to lose weight because of vanity. I do not want to lose weight because I fear or care for the comments of man. I don't.

I want to run the race in a way that will honor the Lord.

Whether I eat or drink, no matter what I do, I want to do it to glory of God.

So, here we are, day one...

What will I do?
1. Stop drinking soft drinks (I will finish the few ginger ales I have, but no more).
2. Check into getting a health club membership and start riding a bike.
3. WHEN I snack, snack healthy. This means I need to buy some fruit.
4. Pray God make me HEALTHY, not necessarily skinny.
5. Pray God becomes glorified in this struggle. Indeed, it is a struggle.
6. I WILL NOT become entangled in a fad.

What can you do?
1. Pray for me.
2. Encourage me.
3. Keep faddish diet ideas to yourself. (Forgive the bluntness, but I am sick of everyone sending me links to diet gurus and the such.) (More on this later.)

My confession to the Lord:
Father, I am way out of shape. I do not believe I am glorifying you. I do not believe you want me to be unhealthy. I do believe you want me to be an example in all things. This is a stronghold; a struggle; often a sin. You are right, Spirit, in convicting me. I agree. I desire to walk with You in all things. Please, Father, help me. Jesus, You say if I ask for anything in Your name the Father will grant it; I ask for victory for the Father's glory in Your name, and I pray in Christ Jesus, my only hope. Amen.