Monday, May 25, 2009
Fat Body, Big God and Discipline - Entry #1
So, here goes...I am going to journal a struggle. I am going to seek the Lord in this thing. Along the way I am going to journal some frustrations, some victories, some hopes, some prayers, and a host of other things. Whoever reads this, good. If you are offended, stop reading. Okay?
I bet you are wondering, "What is he even talking about?" I'm overweight. I hate it. I hate what people mumble about me. I hate the insinuations and the judgment. More than that, I hate that people are right about it. It IS a lack of discipline. It IS a problem. It DOES NOT glorify the Lord. I believe it ruins my witness. How can I urge people to discipline and holiness if I seem to be overindulgent myself?
My friend Andrew said, "Tim, your testimony could be much stronger if you weren't so overweight." (He didn't say it exactly like that, but that's what he meant.) I agree, Brother Andrew. I like the way he said it; blunt, but with love and truth.
Fact: I have some genetic issues.
Fact: I have a thyroid issue.
Fact: I use these things as crutch.
Fact: I DO NOT exercise properly.
Fact: I DO NOT eat properly.
Fact: I attempt to justify my overindulgence by saying things like the following:
A. I don't drink, smoke, do dope, or chew tobacco anymore, so I've got to do something.
B. My knees and back kill me when I run or do most kinds of exercise. (This is true, but it's a cop-out; pure and simple.)
C. My schedule makes eating healthy and regular difficult. (True, but, again, it's a cop-out.)
D. Eating healthy is expensive. (Don't know if it's true, but I believe it is!)
E. I work too much; it's hard to fit a work out into my schedule. (True, but...you know, a cop-out!)
Belief: I believe God can help me.
Belief: I believe God will help me.
Belief: I believe He is asking me to show discipline and hard work in this endeavor.
Desire: I want a quick fix.
Fact: We don't always get what we want!
I do not want to lose weight because of vanity. I do not want to lose weight because I fear or care for the comments of man. I don't.
I want to run the race in a way that will honor the Lord.
Whether I eat or drink, no matter what I do, I want to do it to glory of God.
So, here we are, day one...
What will I do?
1. Stop drinking soft drinks (I will finish the few ginger ales I have, but no more).
2. Check into getting a health club membership and start riding a bike.
3. WHEN I snack, snack healthy. This means I need to buy some fruit.
4. Pray God make me HEALTHY, not necessarily skinny.
5. Pray God becomes glorified in this struggle. Indeed, it is a struggle.
6. I WILL NOT become entangled in a fad.
What can you do?
1. Pray for me.
2. Encourage me.
3. Keep faddish diet ideas to yourself. (Forgive the bluntness, but I am sick of everyone sending me links to diet gurus and the such.) (More on this later.)
My confession to the Lord:
Father, I am way out of shape. I do not believe I am glorifying you. I do not believe you want me to be unhealthy. I do believe you want me to be an example in all things. This is a stronghold; a struggle; often a sin. You are right, Spirit, in convicting me. I agree. I desire to walk with You in all things. Please, Father, help me. Jesus, You say if I ask for anything in Your name the Father will grant it; I ask for victory for the Father's glory in Your name, and I pray in Christ Jesus, my only hope. Amen.