Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Man Rules


I don't know where this came from originally. It was sent to me by a WOMAN! (My good friend, Sandy Whitt, as a matter of fact.) It's funny and I like it.

These rules are so simple a cave woman could do them!

The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.
Finally, the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty
good.) We always hear " the rules " from the female side. Now here
are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON
PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers. ( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE )
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just
say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials..
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine..
Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as Football or Hockey.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping

3 comments:

Joseph said...

I'd have to say that Number one was my favorite. :)

Yeah I know... they're all number one. It's funny that way.

Anonymous said...

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