Thursday, September 03, 2020

Even if you doubt you doubt, I doubt that you don't doubt.

The darkness of doubt...

Sometimes we doubt God. Some soul reading this is thinking, "I don't doubt God! Maybe I doubt YOU! Maybe I doubt me, but, no way, I don't doubt God." Okay, smarty-britches, whenever we bully or take things into our own hands, we are doubting whether God will solve things in our timing or according to our wishes. Whenever we worry, we are plagued about God's timing, power, concern, or a host of other things which place into question God's attentiveness to our desires and goals. 

We all doubt. Maybe your doubts are small, so you try to manipulate your child's future ahead of God's timing. Maybe your doubts are huge, wondering whether God is or, if He is -- and, you know I believe He is -- does He care, or is He personal, or is He involved, and so on. 

To the person who says they don't doubt, to them, I say, hogwash.

Sometimes, we fear our doubt, and then, we can either become angry at ourselves -- in defense of our own fear -- or we can become apathetic -- again, I believe, in defense of our doubt. 

The best thing to do is face doubt head on, while also not being fearful, angry, or apathetic. Face it. Name it. Go to God with it. 

Look at the words of the psalmist with me: "'Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has he in anger shut up his compassion?' Selah Then I said, 'I will appeal to this, to the years of the right hand of the Most High.'" (Psalm 77: 9-10 ESV) 

Let me give you three quick thoughts on doubt... 

1. If you ever have struggled with doubt, you're in good company. This psalm-writer, Asaph, doubted. He wondered whether God would remain silent and [seemingly] uninvolved. Thomas doubted the resurrection. Gideon and Moses doubted God's call on their lives. Abraham and Sarah laughed at God. The list of "heroes of the faith" who are also "doubters in the crowd" is long. Like I said, you're in good company. 

2. Don't forget the end of the story. For those in Christ, EVEN IF their entire existence on earth is filled with struggle, it's temporary. Don't look at the whole of the thing while your choking on a chapter.

3. Record and rejoice in your times of certainty. Start journaling. Record your own words of certainty, in those seasons of spiritual clarity that you have them, and go back remember and rejoice and stir those times of revealed certainty. In today's verses, Asaph juxtaposes his own, present tense doubt against his own past tense certainty. He basically says [allowing my paraphrase], "The problem is not God; it's me." Asaph is saying, "God has turned against me, and it's me, not Him." Asaph remembers that he is more accurate in doubting himself than he is in doubting God. In those moments, let's look back at God's faithfulness and let's also check the record of our unfaithfulness. 

The darkness of doubt does come to every lighted soul, but the Light of Life will bring clarity. Let us not forsake the Light in our darkness. Rather, let us bow before Him and ask for the dissipation of darkness.



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