The darkness of doubt...
Sometimes
we doubt God. Some soul reading this is thinking, "I don't doubt God!
Maybe I doubt YOU! Maybe I doubt me, but, no way, I don't doubt God."
Okay, smarty-britches, whenever we bully or take things into our own hands, we
are doubting whether God will solve things in our timing or according to our
wishes. Whenever we worry, we are plagued about God's timing, power, concern,
or a host of other things which place into question God's attentiveness to our
desires and goals.
We
all doubt. Maybe your doubts are small, so you try to manipulate your child's
future ahead of God's timing. Maybe your doubts are huge, wondering whether God
is or, if He is -- and, you know I believe He is -- does He care, or is He
personal, or is He involved, and so on.
To
the person who says they don't doubt, to them, I say, hogwash.
Sometimes,
we fear our doubt, and then, we can either become angry at ourselves -- in
defense of our own fear -- or we can become apathetic -- again, I believe, in
defense of our doubt.
The
best thing to do is face doubt head on, while also not being fearful, angry, or
apathetic. Face it. Name it. Go to God with it.
Look
at the words of the psalmist with me: "'Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has he in anger shut up his compassion?' Selah Then I said, 'I will appeal to
this, to the years of the right hand of the Most High.'" (Psalm 77: 9-10
ESV)
Let
me give you three quick thoughts on doubt...
1. If you ever have struggled with
doubt, you're in good company. This
psalm-writer, Asaph, doubted. He wondered whether God would remain silent and
[seemingly] uninvolved. Thomas doubted the resurrection. Gideon and Moses
doubted God's call on their lives. Abraham and Sarah laughed at God. The list
of "heroes of the faith" who are also "doubters in the
crowd" is long. Like I said, you're in good company.
2. Don't forget the end of the
story. For those in Christ, EVEN IF their entire
existence on earth is filled with struggle, it's temporary. Don't look at the
whole of the thing while your choking on a chapter.
3. Record and rejoice in your times
of certainty. Start journaling. Record your own words
of certainty, in those seasons of spiritual clarity that you have them, and go
back remember and rejoice and stir those times of revealed certainty. In
today's verses, Asaph juxtaposes his own, present tense doubt against his own
past tense certainty. He basically says [allowing my paraphrase], "The
problem is not God; it's me." Asaph is saying, "God has turned
against me, and it's me, not Him." Asaph remembers that he is more
accurate in doubting himself than he is in doubting God. In those moments,
let's look back at God's faithfulness and let's also check the record of our
unfaithfulness.
The
darkness of doubt does come to every lighted soul, but the Light of Life will
bring clarity. Let us not forsake the Light in our darkness. Rather, let us bow
before Him and ask for the dissipation of darkness.
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