Saturday, October 03, 2020

A testimony about failing and growing in speech (cussing / foul language, etc.)

God is patient with failures...

This testimony won't be for everyone, but it will be for someone.

I used to cuss like a veteran infantryman. And I can't say I didn't know how to control it. I didn't talk like that in front of my grandmother. (She would've slapped me in the mouth, even as a grown man!)

It did seem situationally out of control. For example, I was so used to using foul language around men, and at places like the ball field and work, that I don't think I thought about it. It was habitual. It was like my grandmothers made me pay attention to EVERY word, other people, like my mom, or most other ladies, made me watch MOST / SOME of what I said, but, in general, my language was terrible.

And, though I am primarily talking about cussing, also, my subject matter, innuendo, and body language was fairly horrible.

My paternal grandmother said on more than one occasion, and in more than one way, that people who cursed showed their ignorance or unwillingness to express themselves in a better way. One saying cut me to the bone: "If you know how to talk better and don't, you are proving you are stupid, not ignorant. You are coarse on purpose, and that's sad."

It all hit me one week at work. I was witnessing to someone and used foul language without thinking about it. They called me on it, and the person did it in the right way, and I was immediately convicted and thoughtful.

Later that week, with a different person, I was praying and said something foul. Called me on it. I felt sick.

Same week; I told some off-color joke, and a fellow Christian lovingly held me accountable.

I really began to deeply consider my language. I knew I was in bondage, and, it seemed, by my own choice / choices.

It was just another area of abject failure in my life. I knew it. I saw it for what it was, and I didn't want to pretend like it didn't matter, or that it didn't affect my witness, nor did I want to attempt to justify it. I just wanted to be free; to grow; to be more like Jesus. I wanted my tongue to be a force of good, and, more so, a force of the gospel.

I began to pour through the Scriptures: “’I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned’ … And he called the people to him and said to them, ‘Hear and understand: it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.’ … But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. ... Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. … Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. … Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” (Matthew 12:36-37; Matthew 15:10-11; Colossians 3:8-10; Ephesians 4:29; Ephesians 5:4; Colossians 4:6 ESV) And there's even more!

Convicted. Inept. Immature. Ignorant, coarse, stupid. Unintelligent. Not powerless, for sure, but lacking Spirit-filled self-control. Of all the words that came to me, "old self" is what gripped me; un-Christ-like was easily true. Whew.

It felt like another thing to be ashamed of, and, to be frank, it was.

It was another thing I needed God's guidance and power to overcome. I regularly came to the right conclusion that there was no good in me outside of Christ, and that was a healthy conclusion. It was humbling, but it put me at the feet of God.

My first plan of action was to spend a weekend fasting and praying. My second step was to say nothing for an entire day; no words at all. My third step was to say nothing for a week unless I knew the exact Bible reference / truth to apply to my speech. (The most latter thing was sort of funny; it's hard operate a tugger, or adjust the settings on a welding machine with only Bible verses!)

Those 10 days started the surrender of my speech and BEGAN a transformation of my language. Praise be to God!

I am not saying I have this issue 100% conquered. I am not saying my speech is perfect. I am saying God has done a work and is doing a work.

That's my story. Pray for me as I seek to grow in Christ. Peace to each and all of you who read these words.



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